


think that you're in love (when you're really just in pain)

by ButchTheDoggo



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Is Not a Witcher, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Songfic, there is like no Yennefer in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButchTheDoggo/pseuds/ButchTheDoggo
Summary: They say it's better to have loved and lostThan never to have loved at allThat must be a load of shitYennefer Vengerberg has updated her status. A stone sank to the pit of Jaskier's stomach and, even worse than that stone, was the flutter of hope in his chest. Unlocking his phone, Jaskier hoped against hope that maybe it wasn’t what he thought it was.Unfortunately, he was always right when he didn’t want to be. Where Yennefer’s profile had once said “In a relationship” it now read “Single”.Fuck.OrJaskier and Geralt have been friends for years. Jaskier has always been there for Geralt through everything and this time is no different. Except, songs are sung, Geralt finally gains half a brain cell and realizes that Jaskier writes songs about him, and Jaskier's feelings are exposed.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 4
Kudos: 246





	think that you're in love (when you're really just in pain)

**Author's Note:**

> First off, a wonderful shoutout to [my lovely beta](https://theredflagfalls.tumblr.com/) for providing so much excellent advice that I was able to add an extra 1.3k to the story. Another shout out to [BlueBee243](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBee243/) and [Dragonflies](https://twitter.com/Starchi15704250) for proofreading and fixing my dumb grammatical errors. 
> 
> This is a songfic inspired by the song [Moral of The Story](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQq98YPV8yk) by Ashe. I may write more for this, I may not. For now, it's just a stand-alone fic. Enjoy and kudos or comment if you liked it!

Jaskier was in the grocery store when his phone pinged with a notification. He was half tempted to ignore it, but in the end, Jaskier pulled out his phone because he couldn’t afford to miss work messages. It wasn’t his work but a Facebook notification that read:  _ Yennefer Vengerberg has updated her status _ . A stone sank to the pit of his stomach and, even worse than that stone, was the flutter of hope in his chest. Unlocking his phone, Jaskier hoped against hope that maybe it wasn’t what he thought it was.

Unfortunately, he was always right when he didn’t want to be. Where Yennefer’s profile had once said “In a relationship” it now read “Single”.  _ Fuck _ . Jaskier called Geralt, wanting to make sure his friend was okay. Geralt and Yennefer had been on-again-off-again but there was one key difference here: whenever they were off-again, she always changed her status to “It’s complicated”. The phone rang and then immediately went to voicemail and the stone in Jaskier’s stomach sank even lower. Jaskier’s own feelings for Geralt could wait because his friend didn’t need a rebound, he needed stability and that was what Jaskier wanted to be.

Yennefer and Geralt’s relationship was toxic and unstable, Jaskier had known that from the beginning. After Geralt and Yennefer’s second fight, the aftermath of which left them off-again, he’d tried in vain to convince his stubborn friend that he and Yennefer weren’t right for each other. Geralt had just gotten angry at Jaskier and kicked him out of his apartment. After that time, Jaskier hadn’t thought they’d make it another month, let alone two and a half years. He tried Geralt’s phone again as he went to the frozen food section and grabbed two pints of ice cream—cookie dough for Geralt and moose tracks for himself—before heading to the checkout. 

After loading his purchases into the car, he went to their favorite Chinese food place and got them dinner before driving to Geralt’s apartment building. He was luckily already nearby and it only took him 10 minutes to get to Geralt’s apartment. Knocking on the door, Jaskier heard a gruff “Go away. I’m not interested.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m not selling anything,” Jaskier countered back. Heavy footsteps approached the door and Jaskier could only assume by the long pause that Geralt was checking the peephole. 

Geralt’s response of, “Go away, Jaskier,” was a little disheartening but Jaskier tried to keep his chin up. It was just Geralt’s constant need for solitude talking, Jaskier told himself. He knocked again, and then again until Geralt stomped back over to the door and yanked it open and Jaskier came face to neck with Geralt. Persistence was key with Geralt, it was what had made their relatio-  _ friendship  _ survive for so long.

“Hey, you wanna let me in? It’s cold in this hallway,” Jaskier said, looking up at Geralt so that he could see his friend’s face. This close, he could clearly see the darker than usual bags under Geralt’s eyes, even more prominent against his pale skin.

“Leave me alone, Jaskier. I’m not in the mood right now,” he said and Jaskier had to suppress a wince at the scratchiness of Geralt’s voice. 

He held up the two bags of food and ice cream. “I brought some stuff,” Jaskier said hopefully, a smile splitting his lips. Geralt looked like he was seriously considering leaving Jaskier outside, but he deflated a little in the doorway and then moved aside to let Jaskier in. Toeing off his sneakers so that he didn't track dirt onto Geralt’s carpet, Jaskier shuffled to the kitchen and tucked the ice cream away in the freezer for later. 

“When was the last time you ate?” Jaskier asked, his head inside Geralt’s fridge. It wasn’t accusatory, just a question that needed to be answered without any of Geralt’s usual dismissiveness. Geralt always ended up neglecting his own needs when he was upset and Jaskier just needed to know how long it’d been going on so he could try to help. That knowledge combined with the fact that Geralt’s fridge was pretty much empty save for an almost empty case of beer and some uneaten vegetables led Jaskier to believe that it wasn’t recently.

The answer from Geralt he got was a long silence and Jaskier looked over at his friend to find him brooding in the corner of his own kitchen. Which is quite a sight now that he’s able to get a good look at the man. His face is covered in pale gray stubble; his hair is very obviously greasy, tangled, and unwashed; and his sweatshirt looked like it’d been lived in for the past week, covered with stains from who knows what. At least he was wearing pants this time. Though Jaskier definitely hadn’t complained at seeing the outline of Geralt’s dick in his boxers.

Jaskier could play the silent game and proceeded to stare Geralt down until he got an actual answer out of him. It only took 2 minutes before Geralt muttered, “Breakfast yesterday.” Jaskier silently passed him the bag of Thai food and Geralt took it to the couch so that they could eat. 

“When did it happen?” he asked. 

They both knew what  _ it _ was and Geralt stared down at his food forlornly. “Three days ago. I’ll be fine, Jaskier. You didn’t have to do this.” 

“No, I didn’t have to but I wanted to. Now eat, you lump.” Geralt did as he was told, slowly eating his noodles. They ate in relative silence with the TV on, Jaskier making comments every so often on the building show they like to watch together. 

Once their food was gone, Jaskier took their dishes and put them in the trash. He came back to the couch but sat closer to Geralt than he had while they were eating. Slowly, Geralt relaxed and leaned against Jaskier a little, their knees and shoulders now touching. With Geralt finally comfortable enough to let down his guard around him, Jaskier was able to wrangle him into his lap. He managed to get them into a comfortable position, Jaskier sitting propped up against a pillow on the arm of the couch while Geralt laid between his legs, leaning his torso onto Jaskier’s chest. Jaskier took Geralt’s weight easily, breathing deeply as he was able to fully focus his attention on his friend. Jaskier ran his hands through Geralt’s hair, massaging his scalp and his neck as he did so. Being this close to Geralt, especially with how vulnerable he was right now, caused Jaskier’s heart to speed up in his chest. He wanted to ignore the happy little butterflies in his stomach that came when Geralt allowed himself to be taken care of. Jaskier liked helping people, and Geralt was his favorite person. He suspected that he was one of Geralt’s favorite people as well but Jaskier knew the man would never admit it. 

Humming to himself, Jaskier let his mind wander as he worked out the knots in Geralt’s neck and shoulders. He’d been trying to finish up a song for the past few weeks now but he had nothing to show for it besides the first verse and the chorus. So that was what he repeated as he worked, happy that Geralt trusted him enough to let Jaskier take care of him. 

On his third time humming it, Geralt murmured, “Sing that song that you’re humming?” 

Jaskier stopped moving his hands on Geralt’s shoulders. He wanted to say something that might get him out of this, but his usually silver tongue had turned to lead. “You don’t have to,” Geralt said quickly, backtracking his words at Jaskier’s silence. 

“No. No. I’ll sing it. It’s just not perfect yet so don’t judge it too harshly,” Jaskier explained. He didn’t mention that the song is about him and Geralt. Didn’t say that he’d fallen in love with Geralt and that his relationship with Yennefer is what inspired his song. No, he left those details out.  _ Geralt doesn’t need a rebound and you aren’t going to give him one _ , Jaskier reminded himself. 

He let his hands run through Geralt’s hair again as he began to sing:

_"So I never really knew you_

_ God I really tried to _

_ Blindsided, addicted _

_ Thought we could really do this _

_ But really I was foolish _

_ In hindsight it’s obvious _

_ Talking with my lawyer  _

_ She said, ‘Where’d you find this guy?’ _

_ I said, ‘Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes.’ _

_ Some mistakes get made _

_ That’s alright, that’s okay _

_ You can think that you’re in love _

_ When you’re really just in pain _

_ Some mistakes get made _

_ That’s alright, that’s okay _

_ In the end it’s better for me _

_That’s the moral of the story, babe"_

Geralt was silent as he finished and Jaskier could feel his stomach knotting up in nervousness. He wasn’t sure how his friend would take the song or if he would even realize it was about him again. Geralt wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed when it came to figuring out the barely hidden meaning to his songs—hell, most of them were about Geralt and the man never seemed to notice. But there was always a chance that this time he’d managed to figure it out. 

“This one is different,” Geralt murmured finally. 

Jaskier tensed and let out a small sigh as he said quietly, “Yeah. It is.” It must have been pretty obvious if Geralt had figured it out and Jaskier waited for the inevitable outburst.

“Is this one about me and Yennefer?”

With a bitter laugh that sounded punched out of him, Jaskier said, “Somewhat. It’s about your heartbreak and how it made me feel every time she broke your heart. It hurts me to see you upset.” 

He pressed his forehead against Geralt’s shoulder, trying to ground himself and hopefully Geralt at the same time. His heart was still beating rabbit fast in his chest and Jaskier couldn’t see Geralt’s face to even try to guess at his reaction. 

Jaskier’s feet were wrapped around Geralt’s waist from how he sat behind him and Geralt pressed a hand into the firm muscle of his calf. Startled, Jaskier lifted his head and looked down to find firm fingers massaging his calf. “Are you upset?” Jaskier asked quietly. His breathing felt shallower than it should be and he took a few deep breaths to steady himself. 

“Yes,” Geralt said. Jaskier's stomach sank for the second time that evening and this time there were no fluttery butterflies. He opened his mouth to apologize but before he could Geralt continued, “Not at you this time. At myself. All this time you’ve been in pain and I’ve been too dumb to realize it. How is it that you still like me, even after everything I’ve put you through?” 

“Because I love you,” Jaskier said, his voice barely a whisper. “Most people don’t do the things I do because they merely  _ like  _ someone. It’s love that makes me show up at your house with food and it’s why I check on you when you haven’t messaged me in days. Because I love you and it hurts sometimes but I don’t think I could stop loving you even if I wanted to. And some days I’ve wanted to stop so bad it broke me.” 

Geralt’s hands stopped on his thigh and he said, “I… like you. I think I could grow to love you, but not right now. Not so soon after Yennefer. I need time. Can you wait?” 

“However long it takes, Geralt. I’ll wait for you.” Jaskier had been waiting for the last four years after all and now he finally had a chance with the man who had already captured his heart. 

Two months later, Geralt showed up on Jaskier’s front porch with a small bouquet pressed behind his back. Yennefer had never been one for the frills of a relationship but Jaskier seemed like he would appreciate the gesture. Besides, Geralt had spent hours browsing the internet for the perfect date and he wasn’t going to let anything fuck it up. He’d even dressed up a little in black jeans and a button-up. He’d spent more time than he’d like to admit picking an outfit, not wanting to be overly formal but still wanting Jaskier to see that he’d put in the effort.

Jaskier opened the door in sweatpants and a T-shirt and gawked at him, mouth opening and closing a few times as he tried to find the right words. “I wasn’t expecting company,” Jaskier said. “Especially not well-dressed company. You look very nice, a special occasion?”

“Brought you these,” Geralt said nervously, handing Jaskier the flowers. Jaskier smiled so bright he could have outshone the sun and he turned that smile full force onto Geralt. 

“Thank you. Let me put them in some water. Do you want to come in?” he asked, stepping aside. 

Geralt stepped inside and followed Jaskier into the kitchen. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before he asked, “Do you want to go on a date?” 

“Like… now?” Jaskier asked, pausing in his cutting of the flower stems. Geralt nodded and Jaskier said excitedly, “Of course. Just let me get changed. What did you have in mind?” 

One of the date ideas Geralt had seen mentioned multiple times on the fifteen or so websites he’d visited was going to the carnival. It was good timing that two days later he’d seen the flyer up at his work for the local fair in two weeks. It would be hell on Geralt’s senses but he was already prepared for that. Besides, time spent with Jaskier was generally time well spent but he would never tell him that. It would only serve to inflate him further. 

“The fair,” he said and the smile on Jaskier’s face made it all worth it. Geralt waited for the man to get dressed and the expression of shock on his face must have been evident because Jaskier laughed at him. 

“You look nice,” Geralt said, taking in Jaskier’s outfit. The man had come out in dark blue skinny jeans and a white V neck with a neat black leather jacket. Jaskier just laughed again and the sound lit something happy and warm inside of Geralt. 

Geralt got to feel the warm feeling in his chest all evening because Jaskier didn’t stop laughing most of the night. He dragged him throughout the carnival, riding on most of the rides and Geralt had won him a fairly large stuffed horse at a dart game. The evening was winding down when Jaskier finally dragged him to the Ferris wheel, the only thing they hadn’t done that evening. 

By this time, the large attraction was lit up with bright, flashing lights and as they stood in line, Geralt noticed Jaskier humming that song. “Did you ever finish that song you sang me?” Geralt asked. 

Jaskier let out a soft chuckle as he leaned against him for warmth. He’d had to put on the coat an hour ago as the temperatures had started to cool down. “I scrapped it?” Jaskier said, moving with the line and Geralt followed him. 

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t need it. I’m much more interested in a new song that I’m writing. But this one you’ll have to wait to hear. No spoilers,” Jaskier said. 

Geralt had a feeling it was about them but he didn’t voice his thoughts aloud. They clambered into the rocking Ferris wheel bench and sat pressed together despite the obvious space on either side of them. Geralt’s arm came around Jaskier’s shoulders as they ascended, eyes on the stars above them and the bright lights of the fair below them. The stuffed horse was pressed almost as tight to Jaskier’s chest as the man was against Geralt’s side. 

They went around once in comfortable silence and they were at the top when Jaskier elbowed him and whispered, “That’s your cue.”

“What cue?” Geralt asked, looking down at the man. This close, all he saw were a pair of bright blue eyes looking up at him before something soft and warm was pressed against his lips. The flutter of butterflies in his stomach kicked up a fuss at the knowledge of what had just happened. 

“You’re supposed to kiss at the top of the Ferris wheel,” Jaskier explained as though this was all common knowledge. Geralt had never heard of this but he wasn’t above indulging Jaskier. Leaning in, Geralt pressed his lips to Jaskier’s, holding the kiss longer than the other man had. Jaskier responded eagerly, pressing back into the kiss until the jolt of the ride starting to move again broke them apart. 

The grin on Jaskier’s face was excited and happy but he merely pressed himself back to Geralt as they dropped back down. “This has been a good date. Next time, I get to choose where we go.”

Geralt paused, the happy butterflies starting up again in his stomach where they had just settled down after kissing Jaskier. “Next time?”

“Yes. I think bowling would be fun. I’m a fairly good bowler,” Jaskier said, starting in on a story about when he used to bowl as a teen. Geralt listened with amusement as a warm feeling spread out from his heart to his limbs. Not even the cool night air touched the feeling as he walked with Jaskier back to his car in the parking lot. He’d do it all over again, every fight and heartbreak with Yennefer, if it meant that he got to kiss Jaskier just one more time. 


End file.
